title: 11 medical school- diagnosis 101
date: Saturday, May 17, 2008 @ 3:05 PM
Welcome to Diagnosis 101!
Today, we will be learning how to diagnose LYMPHADENITIS(infection and inflammation of lymph nodes) so listen up kiddies, no fooling around!
step one: experience pain in your tongue. stare in front of the mirror trying to locate an ulcer and fail to do so. gargle 2 cups of salt water and whine. feel suspicious too.
step two: the next day, experience pain at the back of your mouth. gargle more salt water, and continue feeling suspicious
step three: on the third day, experience pain at the back of your throat and become even more suspicious. sit in the CLC and whine until people take notice.
step four: due to increasing suspicousness, start feeling your throat. you notice something hard and painful. report findings to people around you. watch them gasp and predict something ominous ( along the lines of the star sign before leo). allow others to try feeling that hard thing under your jaw.
step five: at the first contact with the internet access, furiously key in throat, swollen, hard, pain, under jaw into the search bar. wait for results to load and click on each page. suspect that it has something to do with lymph nodes, too-tight collars, strep throat and tonsilitis
step six: visit a doctor that very evening. report symtoms to doctor. doctor declares that the (cervical)lymph nodes are inflammed/infected.
so there, voila! you have managed to diagnose for lymphadenitis!
complicated, eh? nobody said med school was easy!
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argh i can't eat without feeling as if my throat has been choked by a tennis ball! better yet, i have to finish a 228 ml course of antibiotics ,which will take me a few weeks(?!) or so since i consume 10 ml a day!
"would you like tablets or the syrup form?"
hello!!! misleading the consumer here with false description/vocabulary.
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) - Cite This Source - Share This
syr·up Audio Help /ˈsɪr
əp, ˈsɜr-/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[sir-uhp, sur-] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun
| 1. | any of various thick, sweet liquids prepared for table use from molasses, glucose, etc., water, and often a flavoring agent. |
| 2. | any of various preparations consisting of fruit juices, water, etc., boiled with sugar: raspberry syrup. |
| 3. | Pharmacology. a concentrated sugar solution that contains medication or flavoring. |
–verb (used with object)
| 5. | to bring to the form or consistency of syrup. |
| 6. | to cover, fill, or sweeten with syrup. |
Also, sirup.
[Origin: 1350–1400; <>syrupus <>sharāb a drink; r. ME sirop <>
—Related forms
syr·up·like, adjective
to provide further corroboration, during sl, the little kids were taught that syrup is a sweet sticky liquid poured onto pancakes (like maple syrup)! syrup is NOTHING like a disgusting white liquid that resembles limewater with excessive carbon dioxide passed through! it is not chalky sandy or grainy. i am very misled here. but even if the lady at the dispensary had said "would you like tablets or a barf lookalike? , i would still have to take the liquid form considering my inabiltity to swallow without wincing or feeling as if my throat is going to explode.
unbelievable. till date, i have only consumed approximately 20 ml? at least i can speak a little louder now. still, MY FOOD! i have to keep away from "heaty food" (what's this TCM term coming from a "western" clinic???) which i have been dutifully trying to do so, except for last night when I had porridge, that came with a dough fritter. (stall aunty, what is the meaning of this? want to kill me izzit?) a tempting flake had dropped off into the porridge and after realising i could pretend that it was one of those brown onion things in the porridge, i cheated and ate it. ;)
剪报 awaits me along with a whole other list of things like 阅读报告 and math. ;-(
i am tres miserables now.
